Let The Silence Descend

This is the only way I knew how to say no:

I pretended to not be broken

I discovered the transient nature of things too early:

You tried to break what was already broken

I couldn’t fight you, so I fought me

Not knowing I wasn’t the enemy

I turned on my blameless self, unaware of my innocence

All this time, I’ve been trying to prove myself unbroken

When all I’ve wanted to do is lie here broken

And let the silence descend

Epithets

I thought I was the epithets you applied to me

So I, in my turn, applied my own

Until they were all that we could see

Today, let’s leave all our ideas at the door:

Your ideas about me and you

My ideas about you and me

For such things prevent intimacy

I’m tired of making excuses for what I am and what I’m not

I want to lie down with you

I want to come to you empty-handed

I have nothing to offer, and there’s nothing I need

We are so much less than we think we are

And so much more than we could have imagined

The Ballad of Me

I tried not to feel it

Yet not feeling it was so much more painful than feeling it

I tried not to need, thinking that if I could not need

I’d get what I needed

I knew this wasn’t it, and I ignored that knowing

In all the ways I knew how

I built a shrine to myself

I sang the ballad of me

My triumph when it was turning out well

My fault when it was turning out bad

Intent on proving myself right

I waited (in vain) for you to validate my version of me

Let’s face it: we’d almost rather kill ourselves

Than admit this isn’t who we are

Here’s the thing: It’s all totally innocent

We can only be what we are